This is a race report I’ve been waiting to write for 3 years.
I can’t remember what it was that drew me to Tarawera, maybe a mix of it being a Western States qualifier, YouTube documentaries and wanting to find an overseas race…. But for whatever reason, it was on the list and over the course of 2019 & 2020 the timing wasn’t right with kids starting school, so 2020 Sarah and I signed up for 2021. I remember the sheer hugeness of the distance, the intimidation of 162k, 36hours weighed pretty heavy on me but little did I know how long the suspense would be drawn out for!!
Thanks to the spicy cough doing the rounds and the 12 horseman of the apocalypse, we suffered a couple of years of lockdowns and event cancellations, ultimately serving as the worst case of race foreplay I’ve ever encountered. In a weird twist of fate though, my hip fracture also struck me down in October 2020, so I’m weirdly lucky that boarder closures gave me an extra year to recover and retrain.
Role around to mid 2022 and it started to look like things might actually happen, and with Blackall100 on the horizon for October 2022 it was a well timed platform to the miler.
One thing I had neglected to take into account was training through summer, and my busiest time of year work wise to train for this Goliath of a race. With hindsight I can see now that Blackall took a lot longer to recover from than I thought at the time. I really flogged my body in that race and I paid for it by not recovering properly to top it off.
Training for a Miler obviously takes it toll on your life, and squeezing in those bigger runs and back to back runs was a challenge. As I fatigued I found it harder and harder to get up and run early, leaving my long runs to the hottest part of the day. I did mange my longest training run (50kms) to be a 4am start time, lovingly supported by Sarah and Michelle. I knew it would important to mimic race conditions to notice the bodies circadian rhythms and when those natural peaks and troughs of energy fell.
Fast forward to January 2023 and heartbreak struck our family with the passing of my father-in-law. We knew it was coming, he had 4 (yes, 4) different types of cancer, the past few months had seen a serious decline in his health with frequent hospital visits and the stopping of his treatments. But it doesn’t make the pain or the grief any less. Running through grief is a strange thing and is probably deserving of its own thesis. So I’ll spare you the outpour of emotional baggage but the highlights reel from a running perspective includes extreme full body fatigue, weakness, no appetite, a constant sense of guilt and impending doom, and the inability to run for more than a couple of kms without walking, especially on any hill.
Throughout these last few weeks of training I worked really hard to keep my mental game strong and positive. I reminded myself I would absolutely be walking doing the Miler, so this was good training to. My biggest hurdle was going to be my headspace, not writing my story before I had even toed the start line. I was scared going into this that I would let my grief win, either by just ‘feeling too much’ or by letting the negative thoughts win.
So all up my training was a real mix that incorporated all aspects of the physical, emotional and mental. Certainly not my usual lead up.
A couple of weeks before the race, Auckland was struck by massive floods, causing millions of dollars of damage, airport closures, landslides and several deaths across the city and surrounds. Coupled with a landslide on part of the Miler course in West Okataina, once again, we waited on tenterhooks to await our fate as runners. No strangers to course changes, the newly dubbed ‘Ironman Curse’ had seen UTA, Ultra Trail Kosci and now Tarawera subject to extremely last minute updates to the course to ensure a safe and continuing event. The Miler course was announced a few days beforehand, we would start at West Okataina (usually the 120km aid station), run to the Village Green finish line and then adopt 2 loops of the 50km course with a lovely loop making it 60km, and we got to do that twice.
Now, if you know me, you know how much I love an out and back course, or doing any form of repeats. Sarcasm. I hate it. It messes with my head. Weirdly though, in this case, I was unusually unfazed. Something about being able to break this run down into section made it feel more manageable. I was oddly grateful that there wouldn’t be a whole chunk of the course I would be missing in the darkness. One lap during the day, one at night. Simples. Plus we get to do The Redwoods 3 times! Winning!
Sarah and I flew in to Auckland on the Wednesday before race day. For the sake of historical accuracy, in this post-COVID world, many industries are struggling, the airline industry is completely broken. Again, this is probably worthy of its own ‘open letter to the airline industry’ so I will dial down the crazy rant, we encountered many travel issues, but our first hurdle was Sarah getting bumped from our flight to one later that evening so we didn’t get to begin our travels together (resulting in her being dumped in Auckland CBD by an Uber and left at midnight, causing me to run down the road to her in my pjs to find her!). After a rocky start for us both (ask me about my Visa issues, I dare you) we woke up on Thursday morning, in Auckland, together, ready to start our adventure.
After a delicious breakfast at a local cafe on Albert Street, we picked up our hire care and started our drive to Rotorua. No trip to the North Island is complete without a stop at Hobbiton. Sarah and I had a full geek-out afternoon exploring the Hobbit Holes and sampling the local cider at the Green Dragon Pub. The two-hour tour was quite simply fantastic and I can highly recommend!
Another hour in the car took us straight to the Race Directors BBQ where we had an awesome tour of the nature park at Paradise Valley Springs. We wandered around with Hayden Hawks and his crew which was really cool - he’s funny as it comes and a super humble human.
After an amazing dinner (very veggie friendly!) and eating our body weight in guacamole (are avocados super cheap in NZ??) we finally made it to our accomodation in Rotorua, the Sudima Hotel. We quickly realised this was on the race route back in to Rotorua and thanks to the course changes, we would run pass our bedroom window no less than 6 times during the event!!
Friday morning we got our next taste of New Zealand culture with the official Pohiri Welcome to the event and to Rotorua. It’s an incredibly beautiful Maori ceremony and you could feel the connection to the land, the people, the history and the culture. Loved it.
After this we high tailed back into Rotorua to meet Jenny and Emma. Emma was running the 102km event and Jenny was going to crew for Emma and Sarah and then pace Sarah for the final 50ish km. We went through race check in together with only one small moment of freak out when we go to the weigh in. As someone who has a long standing history of disordered eating, I do not weigh myself, so being put on a set of scales, in front of people was incredibly triggering for me. I don’t want this to turn into a debate of whether weighing athletes is a good thing or not, I understand the medical reasons behind it, but my personal experience around this was a truly unpleasant one. I managed it by asking the volunteers to not tell me the weight, and I explained briefly why. At the end I also managed to let the weigh in volunteers know as well and to please not indicate whether I had lost or gained weight. This was only a hurdle when I started vomiting at the very end the medics needed to know whether I had lost or gained.. but more on that later.
So the rest of Friday was spent in full race prep mode… exploring the expo, I met my pacer Tania, a local Kiwi, packing drop bags and dropping off the gear that would keep us going to for the next couple of days!
We enjoyed an over-70’s style early bird dinner at around 5pm and were pretty much happily tucked up in bed with a 2am alarm set by around 8.30pm. Surprisingly I think we both slept relatively well considering it was the night before our biggest ever goal to date.
2am is horrible time to wake up. Bleary eyed, slightly confused and fighting our own bodies, we were up and out the door by about 2.30am to walk the kilometre to the buses that would take us to the start line. The walk through town felt eerie quiet but quickly found some fellow dazed runners and boarded the buses to West Okataina. It’s a very windy, dark trip out to this particular aid station. In the normal course, this aid station is the 120km mark, but for this year, it would function as the start line for the 100 mile and 102km races.
We sat in the cool, dark car park with the 350 odd other runners, trying to stay calm and simply survive the time until we could finally get moving. The energy at a start line is always pretty magic. A mix of fear, anticipation, excitement and the urge to poop.
The Race Starts:
That final count down is the best and the worst moment… after 3 years of waiting, training and cancellations, we are here and this is about to happen. Just a casual 162km stand between us and that Pounamu.
The first 1.5-2k is on road and slightly uphill… just what you feel like at 4.20am! The left turn into the trail takes you into a single trail through what I’m assuming is stunning ferny forest and then the start of a 4km climb. As we were only on the road together for a short time, this was still pretty congested and we sat in a relaxed train of nervous runners for around an hour. Its a pretty steady climb, narrow single track and we shared a few nervous laughs and light chats between us. I felt a little out of sorts, like I just couldn’t find my rhythm… I was nervous and I think the dark night running just wasn’t offering enough of a distraction to combat my brain.
The first aid station was at 17km, by this point it was light after dawn and the wheels had finally started turning. A quick top up of electrolyte (Pure Nutrition - Lemon - YUM) and I was off, a couple of other runners caught me up and made conversation, Jon and Alex, we ran together till Blue Lake, another 11km, and would see each other frequently throughout the race. The loop around Blue Lake before the aid station was really lovely, we chatted to a couple of local runners who told us lots of info about the area, it made the time fly by and the run into the aid station was really cool, seeing it across the water and hearing the cheers and music!
Blue Lake was on the ‘loop’ that we would revisit, 3 times in total, which meant drop bags! From memory a stocked up on food and electrolytes, may have even changed socks?? I definitely had on of their delicious brownies, it went down very nicely. Now we were on the loop, I was able to mentally tick things off… and from here, all checkpoints were pretty close together, usually 9 or 10k apart, no more that 13k at one point.
The section from Blue Lake to Redwoods was my favourite part. There’s a couple of pinchy climbs but the run through pine forests and down into the Redwoods was easily some of the most beautiful running I’ve done to date. The forest smelt amazing! The texture of the ground underfoot through the Redwoods felt like running on carpet or gym matting. The vibe here was like one big disco… the cheers on the way in, people lined up for 50-100m before the aid station, the lights, the costumes the vollies were wearing, it was honestly just everything I could have wanted and more.
From here, its a 7k flat run through more pines, a long stretch of grass running (my least favourite) and around Sulphur Point back to Village Green - the 45km Aid Station which would eventually also be our finish line. Sulphur Point is so called for a bloody good reason. Running across the geothermal sulphur flats was, let’s say, overwhelming on the senses. It really does look like something out of prehistoric earth, smoke billowing from yellow clay and rock. The smell was like nothing I’ve ever encountered. It definitely helps being a mum of boys and being used to random unspecific smells that float around your house. A couple of runners struggled through with their buffs over their nose and mouth, and with each lap, this sight would worsen.
Around the 43km mark on I saw Sarah coming back towards us on her way back out of the aid station and we high fives! She looked amazing, strong and happy. I arrived into Village Green to see Jenny ready for me with my drop bag and plenty of food options laid out - a total treat and a great way to be greeted! Jen helped me refill my electrolyte and helped me get under way nice and quickly. I think this was my fasted aid station visit… maybe because Jen ate all my lollies!
The back half of the loop takes you back through Sulphur point and then on to a short road section to the next aid station, only a few kilometres away, so I didn’t really need anything here. Then we hit the trails again this back half of the loop flowed pretty nicely, lots of open fire trail and pine forests that wind gently upwards, through an aid station with excellent Nutella sandwiches, down an out and back and around a loop that had views down onto Lake Rotokakahi before coming back around to run the west side of Blue Lake back to the aid station.
This bottom section was the first point where I felt I had slipped a little in my nutrition and I started to pay for it. The back half of the course had raspberry flavoured electrolyte instead of the lemon, which I just didn’t quite like as much and so simply didn’t drink as much. So the nausea started to kick in around the 70k mark but I quickly recognised my mistake and made a massive effort to get the nutrition in and get back on track. It worked - by just shy of 80km I was back on track and feeling good again.
Back at Blue Lake I saw Tania, my pacer for the first time on course! I wasn’t expecting it and it was such a nice lift!! She came to help me and asked if I needed anything. I had to ask if she had ever heard of Ribena, and she and her partner made a note to source this for me for Village Green. They are absolute legends. I changed my shoes which I think was a saving grace
I was excited to get back on to the familiar east side of the loop and hit triple digits. The aid station had pizza this time, so that must have meant it was dinner time. I’d lost all track of actual earth time by this stage… it was still daylight, so maybe afternoon tea?? A couple of slices of veggie pizza to see my on my way and said goodbye to Tania.
The hills seemed a teensy bit steeper this time around and my quads were starting to feel the kilometres now. The stairs and downhill to Redwoods were a little niggly on my knees now, nothing horrendous and I will admit to hitting a couple of Panadol at Blue Lake to try and stem this a little. Redwoods was just as epic the second time round and I remember vividly mentally checking off 2 out of 3 times through here as a great milestone.
There were a couple of points on the loop where I questioned whether doing another loop was going to mentally tough, but I reminded myself the experience would be different at night, and with someone else. I used lots of positive mindset work to keep the mood and energy high when I felt it drop. When things felt hard, I focused on the things I was doing well, I made sure if I was hiking, I was doing it with purpose, sticking to a pace or ticking off a certain number of kilometres per hour.
Redwoods to Sulphur Point was just as pungent the second time round, but the flat felt really good to be able to run. I was starting to overtake people now, which told me I had made the right decision by being conservative in my efforts early on. So far, the plan was being perfectly executed.
I arrived at Village green just as the sun was setting. I changed my shorts just to feel a little fresher and alleviate a tiny bit of chafe. Tania and her partner were there to meet me and feed me the magic juice that is Ribena. I have never tasted something so wonderful. It’s utter super juice.
Heading out on to that last loop would have been really tough without a pacer I reckon. Knowing the finish line was there and you were running away from it was mental game for sure. I was still moving really well and I was looking forward to spending time with a person, learning about them, and finding out what makes someone put there hand up to spend all night with a complete stranger on the trails.
As I left on the final trail I got to see Emma coming in to finish her 102km, which was awesome! I’d been waiting for her to over take me all day and ask here, rather cheekily, where she’d been! She smashed her first hundred, it was so cool to see her in the last couple of hundred metres!
The second loop was definitely a lot slower. Which I knew it was going to be. The hills seemed steeper and I swear the Trail Gremlins had been out and added a couple of extra ones. The night brought the tunnel vision of the head torch but my aim was to simply keep moving forward with a strong intention and continue to enjoy my time out there. Tania reminded me that my Pounamu was closer to me with every step. This helped.
One element to these long events I seem to do well is not feel fatigued. Time seemed to simply slip by, I didn’t clock watch or even take note of the time or have any bought of tiredness. The only issues I had were nausea. Again, my nutrition slipped a little around the back portion of the course. So when we came out of the out and back/loop section (139km) I told myself very firmly I needed to take something in and decided on a gel. Looking at it I knew my body didn’t want it.
I got it as far as my throat and came straight back out again.
Winning.
After a couple of extra heaves and making Tania and the Course Marshall dry wretch as I was hunched over in the bushes, I felt fine again and we carried on. Tania was great at ushering me forward, just a simple hand gesture and I would pick up the pace for a few steps to get in front of her and I would feel her energy pushing me onwards. Then on the uphills, if she was in front I would just try and match her footsteps have user her gravity to pull me up. Cos, you know, science.
Hitting Blue Lakes for the last time felt like a triumph. I spent a bit of time with the medics to patch up a couple of blisters and hot spots, and managed to wrangle another couple of Panadol from them after the Spanish Inquisition of questions. Sadly though, the body wasn’t a fan and washing these down with diced peaches in fruit juice was apparently a bad idea…. Vomit #2, 145km.
After chucking in front of medics, the questions starting coming again, so I promptly ran away. There was nothing anyone could do to stop me finishing, so I grabbed Tania and we left for the final 16/17km.
There were DEFINITELY extra hills in this last section. Really bitey ones as well. And more stairs… stoopid Trail Gremlins.
Although slow, the kilometres passed still fairly easily, the deep night had passed and they sky slowly brightened making the carpet of the Redwoods that much sweeter. That final run into Redwoods brought all the emotions of the last day and last 3 years. I welled up as I looked at Tania and finally felt how close the finish was. I said to her, we aren’t hanging around, let’s get this done. We grabbed a quick refill and we were gone. This time, running.. at least as close to it as I could get. I averaged around a 6:30 pace with a few walk breaks… and I did my best to power walk those breaks.
In the final kilometers, I felt a blister suddenly appear in-between my big and second toe. It burst forth with fury and stopped me in my tracks, I have never felt anything like this before. I walked for a few steps and realised it hurt regardless of whether I ran or walked, so I started running again.
Like all finish lines, the final km or 2 felt like we’d been re-routed and were doing an extra 10k! I felt a little lost, like I didn’t know how far to go or recognise the course despite having run it a million times already!
When we were about 300m from the finish, I realised where we were and how close we were. I almost couldn’t believe and kept saying “is this it? Is it really done?” It felt like a dream, I’d loved it all so much, but I was so ready for it to be over!
It was about 8.30am, maybe a little later, when I hit that finish chute, so it was fairly quiet spectator wise. I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be there, but Sarah was! I gave that sprint finish everything I had and finished in 28hrs 37mins. 161.67km later. It was done.
Choosing that Pounamu was everything. I took my time, I savoured every piece of jade on the table until I settled on mine. It was a moment I am so proud of and enjoyed with such a full heart.
I sat in the recovery tent after a weigh in and was joined by Tania, Sarah and Tania South (fellow northern beaches RMA who smashed the 50k) and tried to take it all in. Pretty quickly I felt the nausea hit again and went to ask a volunteer for something to vomit into. Ended up back with the medics (despite putting my best smiling face on) and went through a bit of back and forth but was released back into the wild when I promised to continue to eat and drink.
The rest is, as they say, history.
I shuffled after Sarah, Jenny and Emma back to the car and inched my way closer to a shower. By the time I had showered, Sarah was fast asleep and I wasn’ far behind! We dozed on and off, listening to the final runners being cheered home as they ran past our hotel.
That afternoon we visited the amazing Polynesian Spa which is used geothermal mineral waters from local springs and served as an amazing way to start recovery!
The rest of the story involves delayed flights and cyclones which is really a story in itself, but that’s not the aim of this post. Needless to say, Cyclone Gabrielle struck Auckland, we got stuck, got rescued by the generosity of Kiwis and eventually made it home to our families.
There are so many more things I could say about this run, after all, a lot happens in 28 hours on the trails. Mostly though, I’m grateful. Grateful I have a body that allows me to do this, grateful I have the support of my family and friends. Achieving something like this makes you realise how strong and capable we are as women, how much more we are capable of if we let go of the fear.
And with that, I will bid you farewell until next time.
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